Saturday, October 11, 2008

My Nan is a Baller & Other Things I Am Thankful For

Ahhh, Thanksgiving. A time for quiet reflection about all the things one has to be thankful for, like family, good heath, and the existance of cheese. It's also a time to eat so much turkey and pie that you think you'll explode. In other words, it's the best time ever.

This year was actually a quiet celebration in comparison to years past: my nan, my uncle Barrie and Auntie Ann, our good family friend Carol, and my parents and I celebrated today because my parents are pulling out for Florida tomorrow (it's okay to mutter "bastards" under your breath right now. I am.). As a result of the wonky day, half the family couldn't make it; which is fine because it meant more pie for me (List of Things Melissa is Thankful For #1: less family = more pie).

The day started off terribly (which in Melissa-speak means I got stuck in traffic). Actually, and I'm not even exagerating about this, it was some of the worst traffic I've had to sit in going North. It was bumper to bumper starting in Vaughn and going all the way through to the Georgian Campus college. Needless to say, I got grumpy. Fast. I also got bored so I took pictures, which by the way is suuuuuuper safe! (Um? I'm now convinced that this is how every traffic accident has ever happened.)

This is what I sat in for AN HOUR AND A HALF. (FYI - this drive normally takes 45 minutes. Feel my pain. FEEL IT!)

Actually that picture doesn't really do it justice. It looked more like this:


So after getting through the parking lot that was the 400 to Barrie, I sailed smoothly through to Parry Sound (<-- LoTMiTf #2: If I'd had to sit in traffic beyond Barrie I think my head might have exploded...). I've never seen the leaves turn this early in the year - I blame this on the Worst Winter Ever and the Why Is the Universe Making Us Suffer so Much in One Year Freezing Cold Summer - and the view was spectacular. So even though I was running almost an hour behind, I stopped at a park by nan's house to take some pictures.

They mostly turned out overexposed (cue Debbie Downer wah-wah horns) but I'm hoping a little photoshop magic will help me out of that quandry.

Aaaaanywang. Dinner was plentiful and, as always, delish.

I'm pretty sure no one can make stuffing as good as my nan (thus why 1/3 of the plate is made up of stuffing alone). The turkey was perfect and juicy, the green beans squeaky and fresh, the potatoes lumpy and soaked in gravy. I think I died and went to heaven!! (LoTMiTf #3: I did not actually die and go to heaven. It was a figurative death. Which is good because I'm not ready to go and who would take of my cats??!)

Alas, I don't have a picture of the best part: my nan's blueberry pie! When I was little this was the only thing I used to ask her for for Christmas. I put that in italics because that's how much my nan's blueberry pie meant/means to me. If paradise, love, Jesus, and every adorable and amazing thing in the world had a taste, it would taste like my nan's blueberry pie. I'm not even joking.

... and guess who was sent home WITH THE LAST SLICE OF BLUEBERRY PIE??! (LoTMiTf #4: Blueberry pie, the gift that keeps on giving.)

It was also great to spend some quality time with the family!*

*Quality time = a nap on the couch while my 85 year old grandmother cooked me dinner. Fuuuuuuck.
(LoTMiTf #5: My nan is the nicest nan in the world!!! ...And she has the comfiest couch!!!)

Actually, I noticed my nan had redecorated a little since I'd been over to her place last. She has a new TV hutch and a new TV (this is actually sorta monumental because she's had the same ancient TV set for the last, oh, 87 years? It was the one that is its own TV hutch - basically a giant, woodpanneled box o' entertainment. She also needed approximately 64 converters to use this particular TV, none of which ever fully worked so she ended up having to get up and down all evening to change channels, up the volume, and search for the next episode of Cold Case on the satellite). As I was commenting on the change to my dad, he gave me the "Not so loud! Your grandmother might hear you!" look and dragged me into the spare room. I was confused so I thought maybe she redecorated in there too and something had gone awry? Everything looked the same though....... except for another new TV set, a giant flat panel set up that took up half the room (!!). I was obviously confused, so my dad explained: apparently my nan went to her local Canadian Tire, bought the fancy flat panel TV, got it home, and realized that unlike her old set, this new one would require a TV stand (they just don't make things like they used to). She had to then go back to the Canadian Tire and pick out a pretty hutch to hold said TV. Once home, though, she realized that the TV she picked out was too giant for the pretty hutch so she had to go back to Canadian Tire again and pick out a smaller TV. Now she has a new hutch and 3 TVs and apparently everyone in the family is not to acknowledge this fact under any circumstances.

I, however, don't live by the rules so of course I ask my grandmother about the sudden TV influx.

Me: Nan, you sure do have a lot of TVs now! You're a baller!

Nan: ... What's a baller?

Me: It's like... a basketballer. Someone who plays basketball.

Nan: Oh?

Me: It means you're living large!!

Nan: Well, I guess so?

Me: ...So if you need to get rid of that big flat panel in the spare room let me know because I could definitely use a new TV.

Melissa: Best Grandkid Ever?

(LoTMiTf #6: Seriously, I really do have a great family, surplus TVs aside. I am thankful that they are in my life and that they let me call them ballers and just go with it instead of openly asking what the fuck I am talking about. I'm also thankful they let me nap after The Drive From Hell and that they feed me and teach me how to knit and love me for being me. I really am one lucky kid!)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!

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